I like several things

the sun on a cold day
the smell of my house
the pastry bit on cheesecakes
the night sky with no artificial lighting
the city, the life
the country, the natural
the colours of the rainbow
the joy when I make others smile
the idea of mini coopers
the feeling of hot water running down your throat
the taste of peanut butter sandwiches
the sound of crinkling plastic sleeves
the clicking of cameras
the smell of burning candles (like, actually)
the fulfilment when you do a good deed
the thought of freedom
the dreaming of a good night's sleep
the lyrics to real songs
etc


you click ENTRIES by the way
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Wooo ....
Turned 17 yesterday and I kind of had an epiphany. Remember back when you were a kid and birthdays would get you so excited? Remember when you used to have trouble falling asleep the nights before your special day? Remember when you were invited to a bowling/mini putt putt party and you'd eat icecream cakes? At our age no one does that anymore. And if you do, you will die old and alone because you still bother celebrating your birthday.

Exciting events from yesterday:

• Skyped with a dog
• Baked another cheesecake
• Made faces at Yeji
• Dressed up as Jigsaw

Labels: epiphany, food, loved ones

Labels: epiphany

I slept really early last night, like definitely before 10pm.
I felt so good in the morning.
Then I had a morning shower and I felt even better.

So now I'm going to try and sleep much earlier than usual ie. after midnight because in the end it will only benefit me and my ATAR (:


I smell BBQ.

POTATO MASH NOMNOM DINNER TIME.
BYE BYE

Labels: epiphany, food, school

do you ever feel, feel so paper thin, like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?

Labels: emotional, epiphany

“Good instincts usually tell you what to do long before your head has figured it out.”

today's topic
INSTINCTS

they're there for a reason.
they're there to help you.
but I never seem to learn from my mistakes, and I never seem to listen to my instincts.

thank you instincts for trying to be there for me, trying to help me make decisions, trying to guide me in the right direction.
if I had just been smarter, maybe I wouldn't be in the mess I am now.

- I can't fall asleep
- I can't concentrate on 4u (then again I never can)
- I can't pretend to be fine with it all

thank you instincts for trying. thank you instincts for trying. for trying.

will it be okay tomorrow?
I just want it to be okay. I want to close my eyes, and I want it to be okay.

------------

many times I've wanted to run away, I did once, it felt good at the time.

11pm the sky was close to black. I remember. I was running, and it was cold, but I was crying and I was concentrating on the stars which kind of looked like UFOs because everything was so blurry. I wasn't wearing any shoes, so my feet kind of hurt on the asphalt of our street, and I was wearing shorts and a tee so I was really cold, and I just kept looking ahead. I didn't know where I was going. it was scary I didn't want to run too far, but I didn't want to stay too close. I was scared I'd get raped, so I ran really really fast. I was running out of breath sure, but I was running away. life, death everything and nothing was the same that moment. I've still got those bruises and scars on my arm, those wounds I inflicted on myself. I'm a terrible person, and I'm a sinner. weak, mental, anonymous

(you don't know me)

instincts, thank you for trying. for trying. for trying.

should I run away again. physically, emotionally, spiritually? either one? it's thrilling, sensational, a bad thing I know. but sometimes we seek to be bad. we seek to do wrong. hell I want to drink myself silly after HSC. I want to drink for the purpose of getting drunk. hell that's messed up. fuck it I'm human.

instincts, thank you for trying.

I need you.

because sometimes it feels as though no one else is there.

we all need someone there.

can you hear me?

Labels: emotional, epiphany

GAHHHH. Found two amazing music blogs, and now, I have extended my music taste to cover several genres.
I actually like alternative music :O (plus others)
Never thought I would say that ... alternative music never sounded appealing to me, but it's actually fantastic. I'm still clueless around it, so is Indie similar to Alternative? Because ... I like Indie Rock ... apparently.

THE MORNING BENDERS - excuses
listen here
MATT & KIM - cameras
listen here


all the other kids with the pumped up kicks
you better run better run
outrun my gun
all the other kids with the pumped up kicks
you better run better run
faster than my bullet


If you check it out the verses might not grab your attention, but seriously hit chorus I was just swaying along. Catchy tune.

Labels: epiphany, music

People, interpret this anyway you like. But I don't think anyone can actually tell me what to do.

But seriously,
What the fuck do I do ...

Labels: emotional, epiphany, loved ones

because it's getting cold (like, super cold, and it will get colder, because the world is about to end) my family friend's mum made us these awesome socks. my grandma's making them too


they're so warm, especially if you wear them under some slippers (: before long they'll become the new must have winter accessory.
they're so good I wear them to sleep.

last night I was feeling cool, so I got my Sing Star microphone and plugged it into my iPod and guess what?? the music was coming out of the microphone. sound was coming OUT of the microphone!

I know - I'm beyond cool.

Labels: clothes, epiphany

dude, I'm from Detroit.

Karate Kid was so fun!

Jaden Smith you darling boy. but ... he's kind of short, and after all this working out he's going to be stumped forever! poor baby, I would give you some of my height. I'm a fucking giant.

I will never get married because no Asian is tall / 185 <

Labels: entertainment, epiphany

for the first time in a long time

I find a white boy attractive. I watched ECLIPSE today good movie everyone should go watch it and that newborn Riley is hot. AKA Xavier Samuel.

plus he is aussie ... bonuss
aussies are usually BLERGH URGH YUCK GAH PLEUGH but I like this one (:

all I have to say is
watch this space

Labels: epiphany

I've been watching the FIFA world cup 
- first time ever.


Anyway ... my point being ... it's actually quite fun. Watching a ball travel across a clean cut field for 90 minutes + extra time I don't even know what that extra time is being kicked by what appears to be tiny beings on our tv screens (and in the case of elitist investors, 3D screens) is fascinating. Every country has her own technique. It's enjoyable, and and fulfilling, and interesting etc. It's actually, worth watching. 
I stayed up past midnight watching football/soccer/whatever. Never in a million years did I think I'd ever EVER admit to that.

GO SOCCEROOS !

Labels: epiphany

finally, thanks to vineetha, I have a new jersey name.
no longer am I stuck with WANGker
I am now

... drumroll ...

RUBYdubdub

Labels: epiphany

young minds are so undeveloped.

I remember a time when I believed this bullshit







what if you don't get 5?
GG

Labels: epiphany